Reasons not to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
1. It has Brad Pitt in it
2. It has a really stupid name
3. It has Brad Pitt doing a stupid fake southern accent in it
4. I have to “click to download” something to watch the trailer (which i don’t want to watch)
5. The old/young version of Brad Pitt is incredibly creepy and unnerving, in a bad way
6. It appears to contain one of the stupid/boring romantic encounters that Changed Everything, that I hate so much
7. A movie with Brad Pitt in it opening on Christmas is liable to ruin Christmas
8. Tagline: “Life isn’t measured in minutes, but in moments.” I literally gagged
9. A movie with Brad Pitt in it that also contains Cate Blanchett is liable to ruin Cate Blanchett
10. It just looks stupid and ridiculous and soppy and pointless and represents everything inane about American popular culture and it makes me sad just thinking about it
You don’t want to make me sad at Christmas time, do you?
By
Angry Teti
December 4th, 2008

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